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How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Description

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

   1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
   2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
   3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
   4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
   5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.


When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

Reviews

Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-08-06
Summary: "Expansive...."

Was harkened in the 'self-help' genre to find a book that was expansive rather than prescriptive. Though it does follow some of the form (including something the author calls the 5 "A's") this is a very intelligent, compassionate, thought-provoking view of relationship. The book has a Buddhist perspective with some very practical exercises for self-examination. Like some other readers mentioned, there are some passages I've come back to several times to review, reflect and meditate on.
This book has helped me see my current relationship through a clearer lens, with stillness, openness and helped me with a breakthrough (rather than a 'breakup). Ahhhhhhh...... I highly recommend!

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-04-29
Summary: "Most Helpful"

This book, though a little hard to get through at first has proven to be a great find. When I say this book is hard to get through I simply mean that this book really has a way of helping you see your true nature, and mine was little more difficult to see. However that is even more proof that this is a remarkable book. I must quash all those negative reviews saying that the person needed to use a dictionary for the first page and so on... If you need to use a dictionary to use this book then it most likely does not apply to you, and you would not even comprehend the emotional and mental states of which the book mentions. Everything from meditation to openness with your partner, or even friends, and most importantly with yourself is described in this book. You can only be open and honest with those around when you are fully open and honest with yourself.
This book is absolutely wonderful and if you have ANY issues with holding a relationship or even a little confidence problem GET THIS BOOK!!!

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-03-25
Summary: "another great book"

This really is a great book. It was very helpful and provocative. I would definitely recommend it.

If you like this book, there is another book called "The Scars To Prove It" that is about a similar topic and very good. It's pretty funny at times but it deals with serious relationship issues and solutions. The author writes like he is speaking to a friend, so the language is sometimes a bit "colorful".

It is really short and it is free on this website: "[...]"

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Rating: 4 / 5
Date: 2010-03-19
Summary: "Informative"

Good instruction book on how to behave in all relatioshps. Simple. Easy to understand and the reader is guided down the intuitive interactive path of loving kindness.

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2009-12-17
Summary: "Incredibly Insightful"

Having faced what was a first thought a break up was in fact not that,oh what the ego mind can do to one's psyche.
I have written on two other books about relationships and the meaning thereofBe the Person You Want to Find: Relationship and Self-DiscoveryHow to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life these have been indeed insightful and I add this one to my favorites.
This is not a book for the easy fix,if you want that there is Dr. Phil, this one takes you on a journey,much like a hero's journey,it will take you to those places that aren't for the faint of heart,but to have what you truly desire,you must look into those deep caves that hold you back and little by little you come out with great insight and a more profound look at love and relationships.
Mr Richo uses five A's that have the key components to being in a relationship,I have found that the ego and all it's trappings are what holds us from being in that relationship and to be us,the key word is BE,you have to BE that to Be in the realtionship.
I have for years yearned to have a realtionship and looking back those that I have been in I realized much to my chargrin it was the ego,the false saelf who was doing all the downfall and desmise and making me I was unworthy.
But thanks to the books that I have mention and now this one,I am looking to being in that most wonderful and magical workings that we all can create,but to be MINDFUL and understand that once a relationship starts,there is still many trappings,all from the ego who wants the control and the wantings.
A must read for anyone who dreams of being in one,to take it to a higher level if they are in one this is the book.
Thank You
Namaste